Living and Thriving with Cyclothymia as a Neurodiverse Person.

Living with a brain that experiences the world differently is, well, different. Add the fluctuating moods of cyclothymia into the mix, and you get a unique and often complex emotional landscape. As someone navigating both neurodiversity (cyclothymia), I wanted to share some reflections on this journey – the challenges, the unexpected strengths, and the strategies that help me not just cope, but sometimes even thrive.

Understanding the Cyclothymic Current

Cyclothymia is often described as a milder form of bipolar disorder. For me, it doesn't involve the full-blown mania or deep, prolonged depressions of Bipolar I or II. Instead, it's a near-constant current of shifts between periods of hypomanic-like symptoms (the 'ups') and depressive symptoms (the 'downs'), often interspersed with fleeting moments of 'normalcy' that can feel almost unfamiliar.

• The 'Ups' (Hypomanic Symptoms): These aren't necessarily euphoric highs. Often, it's a feeling of being wired. My thoughts race (even more than my usual ADHD baseline!), sleep feels optional (though lack of it quickly catches up), I'm buzzing with ideas (often too many to grasp), more talkative, sometimes more impulsive, and might feel unusually confident or irritable. It can feel productive initially, but often tips into scattered energy and starting projects I can't finish. For my neurodivergent brain, this can sometimes amplify sensory sensitivity or make social masking feel easier for a short burst, followed by a harder crash.

• The 'Downs' (Depressive Symptoms): These aren't usually immobilising depressions, but a heavy blanket of lethargy, sadness, or profound irritability. Motivation evaporates. Things I normally enjoy feel like chores. Social interaction feels draining (amplifying my autistic need for solitude), focus becomes nearly impossible (worsening ADHD challenges), and self-criticism gets louder. Sensory inputs can feel overwhelming and lead to shutdowns or meltdowns more easily during these phases.

The defining feature isn't just the presence of these states, but the fluctuation itself. The ground constantly feels like it's shifting beneath my feet, making stability hard to grasp.

The Neurodiversity Lens: Reframing the Experience

Viewing cyclothymia through the lens of neurodiversity has been profoundly helpful. Instead of seeing myself as "broken" or "moody," I can frame it as part of my unique neurological wiring.

1. Intersectionality: My ADHD impulsivity can be heightened during 'up' phases, leading to regrettable decisions. My autistic need for routine can feel completely shattered by the unpredictable mood shifts, causing distress. Conversely, understanding my sensory sensitivities helps me manage overwhelm during both 'up' and 'down' phases. It's not just cyclothymia plus neurodivergence; they interact and influence each other constantly.

2. Acceptance over Cure: The neurodiversity movement emphasises acceptance and accommodation. While managing cyclothymia is crucial for well-being, viewing it as part of my neurotype reduces the shame and self-blame that often accompany mood disorders. It's about understanding how my brain works, not just why it's "wrong."

3. Finding Community: Connecting with other neurodivergent individuals, some of whom also experience mood fluctuations (whether diagnosed cyclothymia or not), provides validation and shared understanding that is incredibly powerful.

Navigating the Tides: Coping and Self-Care

Living with this requires a toolkit of strategies, constantly adapted to the current 'tide':

• Mood Tracking: Essential for recognising patterns. Simple journaling (mood score, energy level, sleep, key events) helps identify triggers and the subtle signs of an impending shift. There are apps for this too.

• Radical Routine (with Flexibility): While my autistic side craves routine, cyclothymia often disrupts it. The key is a flexible structure. Non-negotiables might be consistent (ish) sleep/wake times and regular meals. Allowing for lower energy days without guilt is vital.

• Energy Management: Learning not to overcommit during 'up' phases (even though it feels like I can do everything) prevents burnout and deeper 'down' swings. Conversely, breaking tasks into minuscule steps helps combat the inertia of 'down' phases.

• Sensory Care: Noise-cancelling headphones, sunglasses, comfortable clothing, fidget toys – these are not luxuries, they are essential tools for managing sensory input that can become overwhelming during mood shifts.

• Movement and Nutrition: Gentle, consistent movement (like walking) often helps more than intense exercise, especially during 'downs'. Paying attention to blood sugar levels can also mitigate some mood swings. Caffeine and sugar intake need careful monitoring.

• Mindfulness and Grounding: Techniques like deep breathing, body scans, or focusing on the five senses can help anchor me when thoughts are racing or anxiety surges.

• Professional Support: Therapy is invaluable. Therapies like Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) offer concrete skills for emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. Finding a neurodiversity-affirming therapist who understands cyclothymia is key. Medication (often mood stabilisers) can also be a crucial part of the puzzle for many, helping to lessen the intensity of the fluctuations.

• Creative Outlets: Channelling the intense energy of 'ups' or processing the heavy feelings of 'downs' through writing, art, music, or any creative pursuit can be incredibly therapeutic.

The Unwavering Importance of Self-Compassion

This is perhaps the hardest, yet most crucial, element. It's easy to feel frustrated, flaky, or like a burden when your moods and energy levels are unpredictable. Self-compassion means:

• Acknowledging the Struggle: Recognising that this is genuinely difficult, without judgment.

• Practicing Self-Kindness: Treating myself with the same kindness I would offer a struggling friend. Allowing rest, saying no, forgiving myself for 'unproductive' days.

• Recognising Common Humanity: Knowing I'm not alone in this experience. Many people navigate mood disorders and neurodivergence.

• Mindful Acceptance: Observing my feelings and thoughts without letting them define me entirely. "I am feeling depressed" is different from "I am depressed."

Living with cyclothymia as a neurodivergent person is a continuous balancing act. Some days the waves feel manageable, other days they threaten to pull me under. But by understanding the interplay of my unique wiring, utilising coping strategies, prioritising self-care, and practicing relentless self-compassion, it is possible to navigate these ups and downs and build a fulfilling life – not in spite of my brain, but embracing all of its complex beauty.